Categories: Beans, Ground Beef, Holiday, untested

Ingredients

• 1 1/4 pound ground goblin gizzards (ground beef, 15% fat)
• 1 medium eye of Cyclops (onion)
• 1 15-ounce can soft-shelled beetles, drained--beetle juice is to be avoided (kidney beans)
• 1 28-ounce can blood of bat (V-8 juice)
• 1/8 teaspoon pureed wasp (prepared mustard)
• 1/4 teaspoon common dried weed (oregano)
• 1 dash Red-tailed hawk toenails (crushed red pepper)
• 2 teaspoon ground sumac blossom (chili powder)
• 1 teaspoon hemlock (honey or sugar)
• 1/2 cup fresh grubs (sliced celery)
• 1 Tablespoon eye of newt (pearl barley)
• 1 Tablespoon dried maggots (uncooked rice)
• water from a stagnant pond, as needed (tap water)

Directions

1. Best made during the last phase of the moon—if that is not possible, just do the best you can in a softly lighted kitchen after dark.

2. Brown the gizzards in an iron cauldron over a fire made from the siding off a haunted house. Add chopped eye of Cyclops and simmer until the pieces of eye become translucent. Add blood of bat and soft-shelled beetles; bring to a slow bubbling boil. At this time, add the common weed, maggots, toenails, sumac, grubs, hemlock, eye of newt, and pureed wasp.

3. As it cooks, you may want to adjust the consistency with the pond water. You can tell it is done when the eye of newt swells and the vertical, tan-colored “cat’s eye” appears on one side.

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